Poverty breeds abuse

Living in Hong Kong is not easy, especially if you are poor. The average household of 4 live on under HK$16,000 a month but 20% of the population live on less than half that amount. Parents are desperate to secure their offspring's future - and their own. In such circumstances we have to try to help them cope better with stress-filled lives. That is the main work of the Federation's Family Life Education Unit which runs a series of projects on parenting skills. The proposed reform of the exam-heavy education structure will also help, making school results less of a concern for parents and youth alike. Then we must empower youngsters with the skills, confidence and contacts to be able to cope with the daily pressures they face.

A recent case of child maltreatment points up what happens when families fall into the trap of being unable to cope with stress. An 8 year-old, black, blue and bleeding from a beating, was found wandering in Po Lam Road. He told police that his mother had caned him and thrown him out because of poor school results. The parents could not be contacted and the Social Welfare Department is treating this is a child abuse. Last year they handled 481 cases of child abuse. The latest available figures for 2004 do not look good. After six months there were already 293 - and that is just reported cases. Parents unable to handle stress often take their frustrations out on their children. If these problems are not dealt with the abuse of vulnerable children will keep on rising.

Kids on the Streets

Kin started life as a good boy and is now a fire fighter. But for a while he went down a very rocky road. He preferred fighting on the streets. Hanging out with bad company was his idea of a cool night out. When trouble showed up the gang's answer was a street brawl. Till the police arrived.

He was cautioned as a young offender under the Police Superintendent's Discretionary Scheme (PSDS) in 1998 Luckily for him, the offence was not considered serious enough for a court hearing. Referred to the Federation's Youth Support Scheme (YSS) for counselling and reintegration, he came into the hands of Carrie's one of the scheme's professional social workers.

Kin, at that time still a rebellious youth, half rejected her help and resented the intrusion of home visits. But the other half of him was still very attached to his family, ashamed of his misdeeds, and wanted to make a turn-around. At the back of his mind there was also a long-term ambition to be a policeman or a fire-fighter.

Carrie gradually got to know him and persuaded him to help out in the community by doing voluntary work. She knew it would give him a different perspective on life, get him involved in helping others and experience the rewards that brings. Then, while still at school, he joined the Federation's Fit for Life programme - a rehabilitation scheme for young offenders and a fore-runner of today's Teen Action.

That was when he met police officer, Mr. Daniel Lawley, a volunteer Federation mentor who got him to shape up, not just physically but mentally. Daniel Lawley, now Division Commander in Yuen Long, had a terrific influence on Kin. He was ruthless but skillful and recognized Kin's aptitude in games, particularly as a boxer. Capitalising on this knowledge, Lawley motivated him by channelling all that physical aggression first into sport and then into a challenge only he could meet.

Kin left school at 16, took part in the Yi Jin vocational training project and did some temporary work before applying for the Fire Services. Recruitment was slow, but sure for Kin. In 2001 he was accepted. All this time Carrie kept in touch with him and when the Youth Support Scheme needed volunteers this year for Teen Action she asked him to take part as a trainer and mentor for young offenders like he used to be himself. Kin agreed to the challenge.

A fit 16 year old lad called Sing was in Kin's group, formed in April this year. Having been caught up in a bungled attempt at petty theft he was cautioned under the PSDS and, just like Kin, the police referred him to the YSS. With Daniel Lawley as his role model, Kin knew he had to motivate Sing by example as well as by discipline. Using the same techniques, he focused Sing's energy on the rewards of fitness training. But he knew from his own past that rebels do not like rules. He tried to work out how to communicate with the youths. That was something nobody had taught him.

Sing found Kin's strict methods difficult. He nearly gave up half way through the programme, but his mother, who had been involved in the scheme from the outset, helped him through. Federation youth workers had explained to her how important she would be as support for her son during the process of adapting to the rigours of training, motivating him to do his best and then become re-integrated. She understood what Teen Action could do for her son and in fact she told us that the experience brought them much closer together than they had ever been.

Asked what he had learned from the programme Sing said "self discipline and how to trust others". Asked how it could be improved, he said "make it longer!" Both mother and son told us they had found the entire experience meaningful and mutually beneficial and the mother asked if we could run this kind of training course for all teenagers, not just those who had been picked up by the police. She had seen the good it did her son and decided it could do the same for many, many more.

Kin said he had be happy to be involved in Teen Action again and now Sing wants to do his turn as a trainer too. This is the best outcome we could hope for, where the trained become trainers and the whole process is self-perpetuating. All we need is enough volunteers like these and adequate facilities.

The Federation acknowledges with sincere thanks the work of such volunteers as Daniel Lawley and Mr. Ian Seabourne, District Commander at Wong Tai Sin, to whom it owes the early success of these programmes and with whom our social work teams continue to collaborate fruitfully.

What is the best way to stop a teenager trying out drugs, alcohol or a lethal mix of them both? A parent who tells them the risks -often. A quick telling off will not do - you have got to be a role model too. If you drink, they will copy you. If you smoke, why shouldn't they? Being a parent is hard work and 40% of all parents think they are incompetent. "Too busy", we mutter. "No time", we protest. "Anyway they have got homework to do", we argue, when the idea of quality family time comes up. Have we forgotten how our own parents were? They had simple remedies. Like eating, reading and walking with us. Unwinding and bonding. Best of all they sometimes played with us. 30% of British kids say their parents never or rarely play with them. In Hong Kong only 12% say they have ever played with mum or dad. Parents need to know their kids - not just what they like to eat but their favourite music and pop stars. Then there is a chance of nipping a nasty habit in the bud. Parenting skills do not come easily so they are the focus of the Federation's Family Life Education Units. There is also Parentline, tel 27771567, for counselling when advice is needed urgently. A related event is the upcoming series of seminars on parenting, jointly organized with the Vocational Training Council. It is called"Stop and listen to your child", and will be held from 21st November to 5th December. Visit www.vtc.edu.hk

Nobody argues - reading is good, it stimulates independent learning and creative thinking. On the other hand, there is little doubt that too much TV too young is very bad - for cognitive skills, language development and academic achievement. But what do kids like doing best in their free time? Watching TV and sleeping. So the big question is how to get kids to read instead of gawping at the box. One answer is to combine the two. Choice of programme is crucial but with the right content a TV programme will actually stimulate related reading rather than stifle it, as long as parents participate actively. And reading is not all paper and print. Interactive books come on CD-ROM, some book publishers put reading related activities on their websites and the web itself offers vast reading resources as well as the fun of surfing. But whether it is programme selection, reading or surfing, a responsible adult has to join in, every day, while good habits are cultivated and take root. Then a child's imagination goes to work and that is where creativity begins.